The Return of ‘Arrested Development?’

It was on Sunday night, late into the evening when suddenly, out of nowhere, I began seeing rumblings once again of the fabled “Arrested Development” movie.

In an act so foul, series creator Mitchell Hurwitz threw fans yet another painful and cheap curve ball. Not only will there be a film, but out of nowhere he tossed out his plan to run a 10 episode mini-series to lead up to the film.

At first I was excited. “Arrested Development” is hands down my favorite TV show of all time. It had an incredible wit to it and dark, subversive jokes spread throughout the series. I’ve re-watched all three seasons many times and each time pick up on something I missed before.

But I remember three years ago, writing for my college newspaper, doing an article on the supposed new film. That’s right. Three years have gone by and now, like some crazed dictator holding my laughs hostage, Hurwitz keeps tossing out random ideas about the film, claims to be working on the script (three years?) and now he’s salting the wounds of his fans by declaring a new season of the show, without having a network to air it (apparently Netflix is interested, but they have angered their fans even more than Hurwitz. I’d love to see this stream on Netflix, but by 2013 will the company still be around after this summer’s follies?). He doesn’t even have a film company to back the elusive movie.

Oh, he’s tried to keep the fans happy. He gave the world “Sit Down and Shut Up,” an unwatchable cartoon featuring most of the cast of “Arrested Development.” Of course, it was canceled.

Then came “Running Wilde,” which featured Will Arnett basically playing GOB Bluth with a different name. Sure, there were a few chuckles here and there. Then it became a place were characters just make nods and winks to “Arrested Development.” They even got Jeffrey Tambor (George Bluth, Sr. in “AD”) to play Arnett’s father on the show.

This put the rage of a million fiery suns in me. It was as if Hurwitz was no longer trying to keep the fans. It was as if he was mocking us. I sat through all 13 episodes of “Running Wilde” and realized it should have been called “The GOB Show.” It had its moments, but really, he could have been spending his time on the “AD” script he spoke of all those years ago.

Then, for those years, Hurwitz played a cruel joke on actor Michael Cera, in which he lead everyone to believe the film was stalled because Cera was not interested. Which turned out not to be true.

Then he had his actors tweet about how there will be a new season then the movie. My head began to ache and the world spun as logic and reason began to dwindle away before my very eyes. Has he tricked them into believing this is actually going to happen, or are they all in on this horrid joke.

How many more tricks does Hurwitz have in his “Arrested Development Movie” bag of lies? How many more hoops does he expect us to dance through before he finally says “HA! This was never going to happen from the start!” How many souls must he crush before he’s finally satisfied?

I would love to see this actually happen. But after all these years and setbacks, I do not think this is going to happen. Mr. Hurwitz, that carrot you’ve dangled in front of the eyes of all your fans has withered and decomposed.

Now it’s time to actually do the fourth season and film. We’ve been patient, but we are growing tired. Hurwitz can no longer appear out of nowhere, blasting “The Final Countdown” and amaze us with his illusions of grandeur.

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