Holiday music humbug

Every year, a sudden noise will rush a pang of anger up my spine and give me dizzy spells. That sound is always the awful sounds of Christmas music being piped out of some speaker.
Having worked in a mall in my teenage years, every December was a painful experience. Everything from hostile shoppers screaming about prices to parking lots running under the rules of a Mad Max film, the holiday season is not my favorite.
But the worst aspect is the music. I cannot stand the jingles and the creepy songs about an old man dressed in a red jumpsuit creeping through houses and spying on little kids. It’s just creepy.
From December 1st through the 24th, I heard this songs blaring from every direction, kind of a weird Christmas version of the torture scene in “A Clockwork Orange.”
I remember being baffled as a child when I first saw carolers. I wondered why homeless people were singing in front of my house.
And I hate when normally good musicians perform holiday songs. I’ve hated Paul McCartney ever since I heard his Christmas song.
Now, hating the music does not mean I hate the holiday. I enjoy Christmas. Visiting my family during the holidays usually result in someone doing something incredibly awkward for the rest of us to laugh about for the rest of the year.
But the music is just awful.

2 thoughts on “Holiday music humbug

  1. The McCartney song should be banned. I hear it at least twice a day, and it incites an anger like I have never known.

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  2. But it isn’t! It really isn’t!

    The problem is that they only play 20-30 songs over and over again, and they never play the vast array of really good Christmas songs!

    … also I believe McCartney should be indicted under a war crimes tribunal for his song. There’s a case to be made that “Wonderful Christmastime” is the worst song ever made and that just hearing it definitely constitutes torture.

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