Dear Winter,
Just knock it off. Stop. We get it and we’ve had enough of you. This winter you have been a real pain. You overstayed your welcome last year by creeping into May and this year you’ve smacked us around with so many below zero temps that people are getting real cranky.
You think this is funny? Do you get a real good chuckle out of people bundled in five layers of winter coats as they endure frozen winds burning their faces as they try to jump-start their car batteries? Winter, you make me sick.
Winter, I think you officially overstayed your welcome after December. And I normally love the wintertime. But this year you really pushed me beyond my limits. It’s so cold out that our cat sleeps in our bed at night because he’s freezing in a heated apartment!
Oh, you think you are clever. Hey look, the sunshine is out! Come on outside! Except for some reason, when the sun is shining brightly, that means it’s much colder than usual outside! I mean, how do you make the appearance of a ball of fire that normally represents warmth into a symbol of cold? It’s like some maddening Pavlov experiment!
There, winter, I’ve said my peace. I’m sick and tired of waking up, looking outside and seeing your smug snow littered all over the ground. I think it’s time for you to go.
Sincerely,
Joseph Froemming
The JOE-DOWN 