George R.R. Martin Doesn’t Get Spoilers, Then Spoils ‘Citizen Kane’


There are many things the author of the “A Song of Ice and Fire” series (or “Game of Thrones” for those who prefer the television version) George R.R. Martin understands: Prose, creating worlds, killing off main characters, maps, ect.

But inevitably, much like winter will fall upon this world (or the Midwest), his prose will not keep pace with the television adaptation and the show will bring an end to the series before Martin can finish the books. And that ending will be pretty much the same as the books, thus giving TV viewers a chance to spoil this rich tale to those book nerds who have spoiled it for them up to season five. Because revenge is a dish best served out of spite, or something like that.

But what he does not understand is the fans freaking out about spoilers as the show progresses beyond his written words — those pesky factoids that are capable of ruining surprises throughout the story’s narrative. Though the show will differentiate on certain characters and their stories, the end game is the same for both versions.

“This whole concept of spoilers is one that I’ve never gotten,” Martin told the during the premier of “Game of Thrones” season five. “Yes, there’s a pleasure when you’re reading a book, or watching a television show — What will happen next? Who will win? Who will lose? But that is by no means the only reason to watch a movie or a television show. It’s not the only reason to read a book.” So, quit your complaining about elements of surprise being ruined and rejoice in elements of characters walking around, talking and not doing thrilling things that could be ruined by bigmouths.

Though Martin was not stopped at that point. Much like a broadsword coming down upon a disgraced king’s neck, Martin’s vocal-blade descended upon the figurative neck of the symbol of Charles Foster Kane’s childhood innocence — before his soul withered to black — in the film “Citizen Kane.”

“And for that matter, I still enjoy watching ‘Citizen Kane’ every few years even though I know ‘Rosebud’ is the sled. So there — I just gave a terrible spoiler to all the people who haven’t seen ‘Citizen Kane.’ Rosebud is the sled, but nonetheless, you should still watch ‘Citizen Kane,’ because it’s incredible,” Martin cackled like the monster he is, spoiling this film for all future film buffs for generations to come.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close