Grotesque Lucille Ball Statue Will Haunt Your Dreams


The source of your nightmares pictured in Celoron, New York.
The source of your nightmares pictured in Celoron, New York.

Similar to how there is good and evil, night and daylight and positive and negative forces in this universe, we must accept that for every aspect of decency there is an equal — or greater — force of villainy afoot. And for a small town in New York, the flip side of the joy of comedian Lucille Ball now lurks in their unsuspecting neighborhood in the form of a statue that — once seen — forces one to contemplate a long dark tea time of the soul.

The good people of Celoron, New York, have made it known that this statue — which looks like a deformed Paulie Walnuts from “The Sopranos” — has terrorized the citizenry for too long. A man who wished to remain anonymous (probably due to the legend that once the statue hears your name, it will eat your soul) started a Facebook group protesting the monstrosity.

“Lucille Ball was born in Jamestown NY. She was raised and grew up in a town about a mile from Jamestown named Celoron. The people of Celoron have erected this horrible statue of Lucy in her hometown. It is a nightmare. We want them to replace it,” it is written on the Facebook page, seemingly out of desperation and terror — much like those Elm Street kids trying to tell their parents of the burned man with knife fingers named “Freddy” that haunts their dreams.

And much like those Elm Street parents, the mayor of Celoron is having trouble dealing with the terror that is gripping his once quiet and peaceful hamlet. According to Yahoo News, “Celoron Mayor Scott Schrecengost told the Jamestown Post-Journal that it would cost a lot of money — between $8,000 and $10,000 — to have the original artist recast the statue, which was unveiled in 2009.”

The artist who envisioned this entity of evil, Dave Poulin, has yet to comment on the situation.


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