Much like the dark angst that surged through the veins of poets like Edgar Allan Poe and Sylvia Plath that resulted in beauty created from the swirling depths of depression, Kanye West has penned an ode to the nightmares we all live with in modern day society. A poem that reaches into the black pits of despair that drives people to the edge of sanity. A poem about the hamburger chain McDonald’s.
Quoth The Hamburglar, Robble Robble.
Yes, Kanye West wrote a poem about McDonald’s that appeared in Frank Ocean’s zine, Boys Don’t Cry, over the weekend that accompanied the release of Ocean’s latest album, “Blonde.” In it, West grapples with the fate of the human soul by pondering the plans of French fries — of which he simply doesn’t trust.
Here is the poem, which I imagined took hours of tortured pondering on the realities of deep fried potatoes.
The McDonald’s Man
Calabassas, California
McDonalds man
McDonalds man
The French fries had a plan
The French fries had a plan
The salad bad and the ketchup made a band
Cus the French fries had a plan
The French fries had a plan
McDonalds man
McDonalds man
I know them French fries had a plan
I know them French fries had a plan
The cheeseburger and the shakes formed a band
To overthrow the French fries plan
I always knew them French fries was evil man
Smelling all good and shit
I don’t trust no food that smells that good man
I don’t trust it
I just can’t
McDonalds man
McDonalds man
McDonalds, damn
Them French fries look good tho
I knew the diet Coke was jealous of the fries
I knew the McNuggets was jealous of the fries
I could see it through his artificial meat eyes
And he only be there some of the time
Everyone was jealous of them French fries
Expect for that one special guy
That smooth apple pie
Well, West certainly doesn’t sound like he’s lovin’ it, but perhaps the Golden Arches has thoughts on this dark masterpiece of beauty and deep fried potatoes:
The JOE-DOWN 