Welcome to the JOE-DOWN, a back-and-forth movie review blog by two snarky newspapermen named Joe from Minnesota, Joe Froemming and Joe Brown. We will take turns selecting a movie — any movie we want — and review it here. For this installment, Froemming picked “F9: The Fast Saga.”
The info:
The Movie: “F9: The Fast Saga”
Starring: Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster
Director: Justin Lin
Plot Summary: (From IMDB) Cipher enlists the help of Jakob, Dom’s younger brother to take revenge on Dom and his team.
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 60 percent
Our take:
Froemming: Remember when these movies were about street racing and heisting DVD players?
This review was a year in the making. Last year, it was to cap off our “Fast and Furious Month,” where Brown and I sat down and watched every single movie in this franchise we had not reviewed at the time. But because of the pandemic and the deep state (according to credible newsman Tucker Carlson) the ninth film of this franchise (technically 10th after “Hobbs & Shaw“) was delayed.
Also, this is the only franchise in which we have watched every movie, which is quite shocking now that I think of it.
And now with vaccines and things opening up, Brown and I can once again live our lives a quarter-mile at a time. Nothing else matters; not the mortgage; not the JOE-DOWN; not our pop culture references and that bullshit. For those 10 seconds or less, we’re free.
I was pumped to see this. I avoided any info about it so I could go in with fresh eyes. It was the movie event of my summer.
Then Brown calls me up and spoils the whole (REDACTED) movie for me hours after he saw it. Every twist, turn and space adventure came vomiting out of Brown’s rancid lips and into my brain, making me question if I should waste the $5 to bother going and seeing it.
Obviously I did, but seriously, who the hell does that to someone?
Brown, as I prepare for this insanity and how Jakob Toretto grew more than a foot in his 20s, why don’t you give us your first thoughts?
Brown: My first thought is I don’t care that I spoiled it for you. I wasn’t about to get fast & furious blue balls because I had to hold in my visceral reaction for four days. Frankly, YOU would be the monster here if I had to do that.
What’s there for us to say at this point? We’ve witnessed every bit of insanity these movies can muster, from highly-coordinated truck heists, destroying Rio with a safe attached to cars to the casting of Tyrese Gibson.
Well, “F9” STILL finds a way to baffle everyone because, well, that’s what they do.
Froemming, lead us off while I attach a rocket to the top of my Fiero.
Froemming: I was telling my buddy last night this is the only franchise I will allow to insult my intelligence for two hours straight. Because, oh boy, the subtitle of this movie could be “Plotholes? F-U with F9.”
So we start on some farm, where our hero(?) Dom — who as the movies continue on further and further, continues to lose eyebrow hair — is working on a tractor with his son, Brian, which is one of the few reminders that Paul Walker is no longer with us and these movies simply refuse to put his character to bed.
Brown: Wait, before we question Dom Toretto’s parenting, this movie actually begins with a flashback to 1989.
Yeah, we are going to get a LOT of flashbacks in this movie.
In this case, it’s a look back to the day Jack Toretto — Dom and Mia Toretto’s dad — dies in a fiery car crash.
Look, the old man dies when his engine goes dead, he gets clipped by another driver and hit the wall in a fiery (disco) inferno. Frankly, that doesn’t matter.
Why, you ask? Because I could not get over how questionable a casting choice they made for young Dom Toretto. The actors they chose for the flashbacks look NOTHING like their real-life counterparts.
Look, I thought we kept the cocaine in the writer’s room. Let’s keep it out of casting, guys.
Froemming: So after I saw this, I went back and watched the first movie. Dom tells this story pretty well, so these flashbacks seemed pretty stupid. Also, and this is very, very important, Dom tells this story to Brian and at this point and for the SEVEN MOVIES THAT FOLLOW, fails to mention that not only does he have a brother, but this brother is the reason their dad died.
Dom cares a lot about family, just certain family I guess.
Also, his brother is a white guy played by John Cena. Do with this information what you will, people.
Brown: Oh, I’ll talk about the racist way they weave that family web later, Froemming.
Froemming:
Brown: Now, back to present day, Dom, Little Brian and Letty are all living out in the country, off the grid.
All of a sudden, an unknown SUV starts coming down the dirt road, and Dom tells his son to hide under the floorboards of the garage. And apparently they’ve trained for this?!
Froemming: They destroyed Rio with a safe, Brown. The Torettos have a lot of enemies at this point.
Brown: Yeah, but this movie has shown (through its characters, not through unfortunate real-life circumstances) that you can get out of the life. Brian did it. Why can’t Dom and Letty? Hell, Dom laments about how they’re not out of the life.
Hell, as Little Brian hides under the floor like he’s trying to avoid Christoph Waltz in “Inglorious Basterds,” it turns out that Roman, Tej and Ramsey are the ones driving the SUV.
That’s right, folks. We’re getting the family back together!
Froemming: See, Mr. Nobody had caught Cipher, which took me a bit to remember who that was since it has been a year since we binged the hell out of these movies and there are a million characters to remember. Then his plane crashed and a distress signal was sent — not to the government or his people — but to the group of DVD thieves from 1999. So, it is time for our gang to head to Central America to find out what happened to Snake Plissken in his current life of being stranded somewhere and needing to escape that place.
Dom at first is “nah, I’m out of the life” but Letty is all like “marriage life sucks, I need homicidal thrills to exist” so they agree to leave their kid with Brian so they can murder people for fun again.
Brown: I’m concerned about that adorable child. Gravely concerned. But, the kid will barely come up again because this plot is inconvenienced by children. Just like everything in life.
Also, does anyone in this “family” think to themselves that they need treatment for this adrenaline junky lifestyle? Maybe Roman, since he has an existential crisis throughout this entire movie. But nobody else thinks that after this long, maybe it’s time to, you know, stop this nonsense?
Froemming: I was hoping the movie would take a crazy turn with Roman, as he is aware they never get hurt and never have a scratch after crashing all these vehicles, that he would suddenly realize he is, in fact, in a movie. Sort of like “Last Action Hero.”
That will probably be “Furious 20: The Toretto Saga Continues.”
Brown: Do you trust this movie series to have nuanced enough storytelling to weave that story, considering how they retconned Han’s death later in this movie? I sure as hell don’t.
Froemming: They go to outer space, Brown. How many more plots can this series have?
Brown: I bet the next one will be “F10: To the Moon!”
Anyways, back to the plot. Since these former illegal street racers are apparently more trustworthy than his own super-secret agency, Mr. Nobody left clues to our heroes to find the remains of his plane crash. So, we’re off to Central America, where apparently the most pristine dirt roads exist. Also, Roman’s driving the equivalent of the Tumbler from the Nolan “Batman” movies.
Rummaging through the wreckage, they find a compartment holding… half a sphere?
We’re going back to the MacGuffin, Froemming!
Froemming: About damn time!
Letty puts this in the seat of her motorcycle, and our domestic terrorists heroes are now being chased by an army. Whose army? (REDACTED) you, that’s whose army!
And we get balls-deep into the insanity principle of these movies. The “Fast” franchise has its own physics. It is called “(REDACTED) You Physics” and they do whatever the hell they want, such as driving a truck up a falling rope bridge and swinging a ten ton vehicle from one side of a divide to another with ROPE!
These movies, much like Qanon, give the old middle finger to science.
Brown: The writers of these movies have as contentious a relationship with science as Mac from “Always Sunny” does.
Froemming: As Tej has the audacity to say: The numbers don’t lie, Brown.
Before Dom and Letty swing their truck on a rope, defying all logic, the half-sphere is stolen by 16-time WWE World Champion John Cena, who is Jakob Toretto, Dom and Mia’s never-before-mentioned brother!
Brown: The never-mentioned little brother for a group that values family over all and who looks NOTHING like his other siblings. This movie could have said half-brother and added some sort of “Yeah, maybe.” But no, they didn’t.
Oh, Dom joined this whole quest to get the MacGuffin after he looked at the security footage from Mr. Nobody and noticed in ONE frame that the person who abducted him wore the same ugly cross that Dom wears. I tend to think Dom’s dad bought these things in bulk at a swap meet.
Jakob has a private army with him and naturally, thousands of bullets are fired and not a single drop of Family blood hits the ground. Hell, Roman finds himself amidst a literal firing squad and he SURVIVES, with all the bullets hitting his bullet-proof vest.
I’ve said it before: the Family are moreso superheroes than the Avengers. They would have stopped Thanos from completing the Infinity Gauntlet with souped-up Mitsubishi Galants.
Froemming: The Family is basically playing life on God Mode from “Doom.”
And this is when Roman starts saying they are invincible, which they are, and is mocked. Holy shit, this was something you and I brought up in almost EVERY review of these movies we did last year. Not a scratch. All those bullets, broken glass, vehicles tumbling off cliffs and nobody has one mark on them.
Brown: Shit, man, let’s just show our readers the Tarzan car so they can see the level of mental gymnastics necessary to make sense of these movies.
Well, the Family has to regroup, so they go to an old safehouse that Mr. Nobody used. While we’re here, apparently Mia, Dom’s sister and Brian’s love interest from the first movie, dusts off her seldom-used superpowers and joins the mix because she wants to see Jakob.
To understand this family, we get more flashbacks about how Dom served time after beating the man who clipped Jack Toretto’s car and facilitated his fiery end half to death with a wrench. Dom does his time and while in a mechanic class, he deduces that Jakob (who was in the pit crew the day of the crash) somehow messed with the engine and is therefore the sole person responsible for the death of Jack Toretto?
Froemming: Woah, woah woah! Slow down, pal. We still need to answer this question: Why does a prison have an auto garage in it? I am pretty sure prisons do not want giving their violent offenders access to tools they can easily use as weapons, such as a wrench like the very one Dom used to beat a man half to death, which landed him in here in the first place.
Brown: Let Kenny Powers’ brother explain why.
Froemming: And Dom just takes the world of fellow violent felons instead of his own flesh and blood brother? And then, when he gets out of the clink, does not go right to his brother, but to a street race where he can humiliate the guy AND force him out of not only his life, but his sister’s as well?
This is some toxic behavior.
Brown: He’s basically booting the runt out of the family. Because this is less about family and more law-of-the-jungle DudeBro behavior.
Years later, small-ass Jakob Toretto will take the Super Soldier serum and become Captain America John Cena, 16-time world champion and China apologist.
Back to present day, we learn more about our MacGuffin: The half-orb they found and lost is part of something called Ares (named after the God of War. Real subtle, movie) that can hack every weapons system in the world. Basically, Jakob Toretto can become a one-man new world order.
This is not a new concept for John Cena.
Froemming: Well, adding more confusion to the mix is a postcard Dom got from Han, and they learn that their fallen friend, who clearly died in “Tokyo Drift,” was involved with this somehow before his fiery death at the hands of Deckard Shaw (revealed in one of the other movies, because why the (REDACTED) not).
So, like teenagers in a slasher flick, the Family decides to split up. Mia and Letty have to investigate the Han connection in Tokyo; Tej and Roman go….wait, they are splitting up by gender and race?
Brown: Yeah, that’s pretty much what happens. And the next part I explain can shed light on this weirdly racist/sexist bit.
So we go to a futuristic hideout where we see Jakob give the one half of Ares to Otto, our antagonist whose one characteristic is his dad is rich and powerful. He’s pretty much one of the frat aliens from “Aqua Teen Hunger Force”:
It turns out that Otto has Cipher imprisoned in a Hannibal Lecter glass cell for reasons I don’t understand. She sees Jakob, finds out he’s a Toretto and makes a specifically racist comment along the lines of: “I knew the Toretto bloodline was mixed. But looking at that chin, there’s some Nordic in there.”
Froemming: What race are the Torettos…
You know what?
Dom goes to the old pit crew mechanic his father had, who was also working on the car the day the old man left this mortal coil in a fiery blaze. I like to think Buddy is the identity and new life Henry had after this episode in his life:
Buddy raised Jakob because Dom had basically banished him, because he loves family more than anything, except maybe hypocrisy. Buddy and Dom share a Corona, which Brown informed me has a side effect of causing one to lose their eyebrows, explaining why Vin Diesel looks like he has alopecia.
Buddy lets Dom know his brother is in London. How does he know? No (REDACTED) idea, I thought the whole part of being a spy is people not knowing who and where you are at all times.
Brown: Buddy tells Dom that the reason Jakob turned to evil (or something; Dom Toretto shouldn’t be the litmus test for righteousness considering his thieving origins) because he “did the worst thing you can do to a Toretto: You took away his family.”
Meanwhile, in Germany, Roman and Tej find three of the characters from “Tokyo Drift” who have become *checks notes* rocket scientists?
Also, my condolences to Lucas Black, who has aged more than anyone else in this 20-year film series. Also, I was stunned that Bow Wow was back in this flick.
Froemming: Well, if they are going to retcon “Tokyo Drift,” might as well bring back the cast. As rocket scientists. Placing rockets on an old Pontiac? Anyway, they keep blowing up cars in their attempts to make a rocket car. For some reason. I just like they are basically big nerds now.
Meanwhile, in Japan Mia and Letty are searching for clues as to the connection between Han and this new Ares weaponry. Which, if I recall that movie, Han was basically street racing and the master of drifting and not engaging in international terrorism and weaponry of mass destruction. And snacking. Good old Han was always snacking.
Well, Mia and Letty realize Han always called Tokyo his Mexico because geography was not his strong suit. They also happen to see a Mexican flag in a window right by where they happened to be eating dinner, and in a city with a population of about 14 million people, only one person would have such a flag, right?
Brown: Look, considering the absurdity we’ve seen in this series, that impossibility didn’t even register with me.
At the same time Mia and Letty get into Han’s apartment, they are attacked by hired goons. We get a fight sequence where, OK, I’ve seen Letty fight. But Mia? I’ve only seen her drive. I’ve never seen her go all Bruce Lee on baddies. I think they try to use her domesticated background by having her use pots and pans as weapons…
Oh, and at some point, a girl named Ellie joins Mia and Letty in the fight. And as things come to a head outside the apartment, a sniper starts shooting at the hired goons. Turns out, it’s Han!
So now we’ve resurrected the dead in these movies!
Froemming: The best part is the fact I have more questions about how Han survived after they show what happened. See, Han was working for Mr. Nobody and when Deckard crashed into him, flipping his vehicle and throwing that necklace down at him before his vehicle exploded, Han wasn’t actually in the car, despite the movie showing us he very much was. Was it a hologram, and if so, who was driving? I will let Michael Bay explain this to Ben Affleck:
Mr. Nobody just said it looked believable and that is that. This movie just told me, if I have more questions on this, to shut the (REDACTED) up.
Brown: And to bring this together, we catch up with Dom in London. Here, Dom meets up with Queenie Shaw, who is apparently out of prison now after she was broken out by her kids at the end of “Hobbs and Shaw.”
Froemming: Actually, this scene raises more timeline questions than anything, because she asks Dom if he is looking for one of her sons, and in “Hobbs and Shaw,” we find out Owen Shaw is dead. So this movie takes place before that?
Anyway, I love Queenie and she jacks a car and drives just as insane as the rest of the people in these movies. She brings Dom to what looks like the house in the “Don’t Look Back In Anger” video by Oasis.
There is a giant house party going on, we find out Otto is throwing it and “owns” all the women there, so the #MeToo movement certainly has had little effect on these movies.
Brown: I did notice that none of the women in this scene were introduced ass first, which was the style at the time for the first movie. So, that’s progress, right?
Right?
Froemming: I guess this franchise is taking baby steps.
And then Dom goes and finds his brother at a weird looking pop-up bar in a mansion. And it is here we truly realize the fragile ego of Vin Diesel, as John Cena towers over him as they talk, but in the flashbacks, Jakob is a foot-and-a-half shorter, and in his late teens, early 20s. Growth spurts, amirite?
Well, this reunion is short lived as Otto points out they are at an embassy, so Dom is committing a crime by threatening them. So he is arrested by Interpol.
Who turns out to be lead by Cardi B for some (REDACTED) reason. This movie, more than the others, oftentimes makes no sense at all.
Brown: I’m still waiting for the cast of “How Did This Get Made?” to get a cameo in one of these movies.
By the way, did the last bit of this review feel cumbersome to you? Well, the middle of this movie is cumbersome. While this is a “Fast & Furious” movie, “F9” is 145 minutes. That is too long for one of these movies.
Finding out that the second piece of Ares is in Edinburgh, Dom, Roman, Tej and Ramsey all head there to find the piece before Jakob and co. do.
Eventually, all the security cameras in town go kaput because of this movie’s favorite piece of hardware: Magnet. Specifically, electromagnets.
Ramsey goes on to destroy half of Edinburgh because, well, in a Fast and Furious movie, she’s the one character who doesn’t know how to drive. And she’s in charge of driving a moving truck with an overpowered electromagnet in it.
This was my brain throughout this scene and, frankly, most of this movie.
Froemming: This magnet grabs all sorts of items and affects vehicles, but why doesn’t it basically rip the side of this truck right into it, if it is THAT powerful? Why doesn’t it affect the very vehicle it is in? You would think that would be the first thing to get goofed up by such a powerful magnet. This truck would basically implode right into itself like a black hole.
Brown: Right? I was expecting the axles to rip through the floor and cause a shrapnel-filled death for everyone involved.
While all this goes on, Jakob gets a hold of the other half of Ares and starts an implausible rooftop escape via zip line.
So in a franchise filled with all sorts of nonsense, our villain takes a cue from a lame vacation and ziplines?
Naturally, Dom follows him on the streets in a car (makes sense) before getting onto the roofs himself and leaping across like he’s in an “Assassin’s Creed” game (makes no goddamn sense).
This leads to a fight scene where, you guessed it, Jakob loses but ultimately gets the upper hand and escapes in a car.
Froemming: In one of these movies, we got to see a Rock Bottom. How disappointed were you to not get a Five Knuckle Shuffle here?
Brown: I’ll admit, I was absolutely expecting Cena to throw in an Attitude Adjustment somewhere. I mean shit, it’s basically a glorified Fireman’s Carry. But no, in this bonkers movie, I don’t get THAT.
Anyways, using the electromagnetic, the family catches Jakob.
Does that feel abrupt? Yeah, it felt that abrupt in the movie.
Back at the safehouse, Han is reunited with everyone. And he tells his nonsensical story about how Mr. Nobody faked his death via movie magic?
Can we confirm that this movie wasn’t written by a child?
Froemming: And we get the story of how he stole Ares and had to rescue the daughter of the creators, because on that very same night, at that very same time, other goons happened to be doing the exact same thing. Elle’s parents go out like how the mob wanted Sam ‘Ace’ Rothstein to go out in “Casino.” Then the goons go after this child and Han basically murders everyone and it made me wish for a “Kill Bill/Fast9” mashup. So, he has a kid Jakob has been looking after for all these years. Because Elle is the KEY to this weapon. Because of course she is.
Brown: Right after this factoid is revealed, Otto and a bunch of hired goons arrive and take Ellie and the missing piece of Ares.
As Jakob is about to leave, Dom makes a passing comment about him killing their dad. Then Jakob reveals that he was asked by his dad to sabotage the car in an attempt to fake his death to escape massive debt. Only something went wrong and Jack Toretto suffered a flame-broiled death.
Froemming: Or did he? I am calling it now: Jack Toretto shows up in another of these movies, alive and well and his death was also faked by Mr. Nobody.
In light of this news, Dom says a good son would have said no and would have gone to him about this. Dom, the world is not black and white, and your brother was an impressionable 20 years old, still had not experienced his mid-20s growth spurt. Give the guy a break.
Brown: But Froemming, you have to remember: Dom Toretto lives his life a quarter-mile at a time. There’s no room for long-term implications in his life. How is he supposed to understand that his dad had his problems when his life motto only allows him the memory of a goldfish?
Instead of turning the Family into Swiss cheese, the electromagnet gets thrown on which, among other things, pulls the pins on the hired goons’ smoke grenades. The Family is able to escape, except for Dom, who stays back at one point to give the others a chance to escape. He gets knocked off a platform and splashes into some water in a Jesus Christ pose.
Here, Dom has a flashback to his dad making a phone call about his debt. That ends when Letty pulls Dom out of the water.
Frankly, the Wikipedia on “F9” doesn’t mention this because this stuff should have absolutely been cut from the movie to make it shorter.
Froemming: This dream sequence is the closest the “Fast & Furious” will get to an insane David Lynch-like sequence, so I was all-in. Dom sees his father, the looks of horror on Jakob’s face after the alleged death of their old man, and a bunch of other bullshit that made zero sense.
This gives Dom some perspective on the situation with Jakob and their father, hence the fact he is a little more empathetic toward Jakob after all the brawling on the streets with magnets and whatnot.
Anywho, we now get a thrilling chase scene with a giant armored car with the magnet and Ares, and our heroes Tej and Roman have to figure out…
…
…
HOW TO GO TO OUTER FUCKING SPACE!
Brown:
For context, the evil plan is to launch a satellite into space, then link it with Ares so Otto and Jakob are able to control all the world’s weapons.
And that is why Tej and Roman talk to the guys from “Tokyo Draft” to go to the one place that hasn’t been corrupted by capitalism…
Froemming: And they fly them up to the heavens in a jet(?) and…holy shit, Roman and Tej are LAUNCHED INTO OUTER FUCKING SPACE!
And Tej says it is all in the numbers, the numbers don’t lie. But, I am having a hard time figuring out how they did not burn to a crisp in the atmosphere or freeze to death in the cold darkness of space in their Pontiac, which does not look prepared for such a thing.
But you know what? Screw it, they went to space and I am all in.
Brown: This was one of many times I just threw my arms up in befuddlement at this movie in the theater. The other people in the theater probably thought I was insane.
That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy this.
See, among some criticism we got from our “Boondock Saints” review is that we were being harsh on a stupid movie and we should just let stupid, well, be stupid.
THIS is the kind of stupid I can get behind!
Froemming: There are movies that think they are smart, but are really stupid, like “Irish Al-Qaeda,” and there are movies that know they are stupid and have fun with it, like these movies.
Now let us never speak of “Boondock Saints” again. You are really harshing my mellow with that horseshit movie.
So, the armored truck is being chased by The Family, who are using weaponized magnets now, because like ICP once noted: Magnets are miracles. Why don’t they crumple the very vehicle they are in during this, and how does Dom have the physics down on trajectory, speed and the effects of this magnet to factor into his driving?
No. (REDACTED). Idea.
Brown: I’ll let Violent J explain that one:
Froemming: And Jakob is sent to the top of this thing to take care of something or other, and he experiences the old double-cross by Otto. This is why you never trust a German. Want further proof? Every World War.
Brown: So can we acknowledge that this whole sequence pretty much rips off two movies?
- The armored truck looks exactly like the one in the car chase in “Deadpool 2.”
Exhibit A:
- Eventually, the Family succeeds in stopping the truck by flipping it end-over-end. Visually, it looks pretty much exactly like “The Dark Knight.”
Exhibit B:
But hey, Jakob has made amends with his family because Dom gives him his car keys and lets his little bro hit the road. He’s gonna be on the lamb after he helped stop Otto and Cipher.
Froemming: He gives Jakob a 10-minute car, just like Brian did in the first movie and is another reference to a character we will sadly never see again. So he is giving Jakob a second chance in life, much like Dom was offered then squandered as we saw in the sequels.
Brown: Look, I like John Cena. I think he’s a decent actor. But as far as pro wrestling actors go, give me The Rock. He’s just got more of a presence that fits the outlandishness of this series.
Oh yeah… in the last 10 minutes, Cipher is all of a sudden the mastermind of this whole operation? And she pilots a fighter jet drone?
Way to earn that check, Charlize Theron.
Froemming: Let us not forget that Tej and Roman, to stop the upload of Ares, CRASHES THEIR PONTIAC — WHICH IS IN SPACE — INTO A SATELLITE! And they are then rescued by an international space station? Holy shit, this franchise is built on jumping sharks and I love it.
Brown: Although it would have been a super bummer to have two black characters die, I was kind of hoping that this heroic act would be Roman and Tej’s last stand before they die like Major Tom in “Space Oddity.” Give us ANYTHING in this series with consequence.
Froemming: Major Tom didn’t die, Brown. We learn in “Ashes to Ashes” he became a junkie.
Brown: I know, he was strung out in Heaven’s high, hitting an all-time low. But is that truly living, Froemming?
Anyways, that could have been Roman and Tej. But no, they’re rescued when they’re found by a space station. Because this is a world of ZERO consequences.
Froemming: And like how most of these movies end, we have a BBQ at the old Toretto house, and who owns that now? Dom and Letty live on a farm in the middle of nowhere, so are they just barging in on the current homeowners?
And we get one final reference to Paul Walker, as there is one empty seat at the table, then we see his car pull up. It is now just getting odd that Brian is just existing off camera at this point. It would have worked better with the seat empty and then roll credits, but the car was too much.
Brown: I’m just waiting for this series to cut up old footage and put Paul Walker in like with Milhouse in the “Radioactive Man” movie.
Froemming: What is next for this franchise? I am predicting time travel as the next thing, as they have already gone to space.
Brown: “F10: To The Moon!” so they can appease the stonks DudeBro crowd.
Froemming: I have no idea what the last two words of that sentence means.
Let’s Tarzan swing our cars down to recommendations!
WOULD YOU RECOMMEND?
Froemming: Yup. It is stupid, but I love it. So many loose ends they just ignore, such as WHERE IS MR. NOBODY?!
Brown: Yes. I think it’s on the lower end of the Fast franchise, but it’s still a brilliantly stupid, fun time. They go to (REDACTED) space, man!
Here is what’s coming up for the next JOE-DOWN: July is Sports Month!
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